Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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