hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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