please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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