dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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