The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
