It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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