I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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