can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
