You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
