return my video game
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
