so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So here I am, sexting at work.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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