well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
