What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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