bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
