thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it's great music for shaving your balls
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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