i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
