Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
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Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
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My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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