Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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