So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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