it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize