I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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