I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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