On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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