Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
