Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
