Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Randomize
