I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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