im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
