The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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