Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
