I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
