I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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