You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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