i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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