i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
