he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
