just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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