So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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