So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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