if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
