I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
