you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
