Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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