Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
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