yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
