So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
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I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
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We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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