Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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