Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
