yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize