im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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