watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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