all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
