Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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