I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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