I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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