let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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