I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
